Living your best life as a mental health professional

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(Singing).

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Hi, welcome along to the Aspiring Psychologist Podcast. I am Dr. Marianne Trent and I'm a qualified clinical psychologist. Now if you are a regular listener or watcher, you might notice that A, the sound doesn't sound quite as good as it usually does. And B, if you are watching on YouTube, you might notice that I'm in a different location. Guilty as charged on both counts. And actually I'm probably doing the opposite of what I'm going to tell you to do in this episode.

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This episode is all about living your best life as an aspiring psychologist or a mental health professional because it's really important that we do in order to help us to manage the ebb and flow and the hustle and bustle and the kind of take nature that our jobs can feel like. I am on tour currently. I am on holiday. It's October half term and I am, I'd say living some of my best life here really. So, where is here exactly? And if you are on YouTube, shall I show you where here is?

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So, if you're listening and even if you're watching, what I'm doing is I'm showing you the estuary view from this window, from the office window, which is just wonderful. I will level with you that this is the second time I've recorded this podcast episode. For some reason the microphone wasn't working and while I came to edit it, it had no sound. And a podcast with no sound is many things, but it's not a podcast. Unless you are really good at lip reading, you're not going to get very much from that at all. When I was recording earlier, there was a wind surfer out there distracting me in the most joyful of ways.

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A slightly less joyful distraction is that in the house next door they're having a refurb. And so if you can hear banging and clanging, that is what that is. So yes, why am I doing the episode today? So the episode kind of came to me because I just had a great day yesterday, really great. And I was just out and about on a kayak with my husband in the afternoon. So a really lovely time. It was beautifully sunny day and just was really making a reflect on the last time I'd been on a kayak with him, which was I think in 2010.

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It's been a long time. When you've got young children, it's kind of hard to kayak. But we left them home with the grandparents yesterday and so they were happy playing Roblox, whatever it is they were doing, whilst we were out kayaking out and about. So we are on holiday this week. We are in Mudeford in... Where is it? Christchurch in Dorset and it's lovely. As we were walking today, I saw a sign that said something along the lines of Christchurch where time is pleasant.

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And my husband were like, time is pleasant. Is pleasant really a word that we use when things are really good or is it when things are like fine? But yes, if I was trying to decide whether if I lived here and this was the view from my window, whether I'd be super productive cause I'd always want to sit at my desk, or whether I would just end up laying down on the sofa with a similarly glorious view and not get very much done at all.

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So as I do sit here, I think I wrote a book here. It would be just a lovely view. So when I was writing the Aspiring Psychologist Collective and doing the editing for that, I went away with a week for a weekend with my friends and before they arrived I sapped and overlooked the both most beautiful Malvern Hills view and that was really inspiring.

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So I'm all about the view. And that's one of my top tips really is if you are feeling a bit bulked down by life and the views around you, then could you get out and about to even have a day of looking at something a little bit more awe inspiring. So I wrote a piece for the media a while ago that suggested that when we're seeing, and experiencing, awe inducing things that we have a better quality of life.

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So where could you look in your life to even have low-cost or so? It might be going to a forest with really big tall trees where you can just appreciate the difference in size and how long it would've taken for those trees to grow so tall. Or it might be going out to see some water, big strong winds, today definitely wouldn't have been kayaking today. Although, my little boy did want to go kayaking, we thought it was not quite that safe.

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You'd be pleased to know our favourite wind surfer is back. Let me see if I can show you. There he is. So he obviously took a little bit of a break. We have some hot chocolate and warmed up. Another lovely comforting thing that you could also do. So for those of you listening, what I'm doing is I'm showing a lovely man on his white and blue water sizer or water surfer. Is it? Windsurfer.

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So as he whips about now, I'm sure he will distract me in the most wonderful of ways. But I went windsurfing in 2010. It was very difficult. I went on one of those Nielsen holidays, had an absolutely brilliant time. So that was when I was just about starting my third year of doctoral training. So very much recommend going out and doing some active things if you can, to help you get through whatever you've got going on in your life. Now but it's really important that we are living some of our best life ideally, even when we're waiting to kind of get to where you think might be the good stuff, where all the good stuff happens. We need to be enjoying life along the way too.

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And one of my next top tips is when you get a new diary for the year, this is mine I favour an A4 diary, it has lots of room, is to think about best case scenario. And if you could get all of your choice of annual leave, what would you want? And make sure that you are, I get ideally booking it if you're part of a team. Or if you are self-employed like me, that you're just taking it out of there as not available for bookings. Because it's really nice actually when you are doing client work and you're looking for the next available appointment and then you flick past annual leave and you think, yes I have got that thing coming up, brilliant.

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So I tend to put all of my social things into my work diary as well to give me a little bit of a boost as well when I'm flicking through the diary. I think, that thing's coming up. I'm really looking forward to that. That would be really good, to help bolster where you are at now. So that's something you might like to consider. But it's really important to me as a parent that I'm having time with the children when they're on half term breaks.

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So even before the half term holidays and the school term dates get published, what I do is I am earmarking those. I'm looking on the local government website to look for the term times and making sure that where possible I book out as much time as I can to be off with the children during half terms so that I can have a good break. Sorry about the noise next door. So that I can decompress because we carry a heavy load in the work that we do. And so making sure that we're able to maximise our time off is really key. And of course we don't always want to be away from home. Sometimes it's nice just to have downtime to be at home, and to enjoy this space that you've created and have a little bit of R and R from right where you sit and right where you live. So it's not all about rushing out and spending money, but it's about having time to just relax and to do the things you like to do. It might that be naps, it could be. I absolutely used to love a nap. Or just to go out for walks in your local area or a little bit further afield. You could head to the seaside for a day and have fish and chips. Small pleasures can be very richly rewarding indeed.

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So don't think that life is suddenly going to become glorious when you're qualified. We need to be working hard to create a life that you are enjoying along the way. And then of course we hope that the same continues when you are qualified. Trying my best to dodge the incredibly noisy noises, but if it goes on for much longer, I might just need to plough on through regardless. So as I said before, this is the second time I've recorded this and so I think the light is probably more favourable now. It was a little bit sunny earlier. It's in my eyes, but it might mean that we have a slightly shorter podcast episode as well because I've done it all already. I know where I'm going to go. And also quite keen to go and sit downstairs and have a cup of tea.

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So get your diary, fill it in, request the leave. And if you're part of a team, it might well mean that you've got to negotiate what you're going to have. But it's really important that we're not just saving all our leave until the end of the leave year. Often in the NHS that will run until the end of March, beginning of April. But we don't want you to be having just lots of fallow time in the new year. It's important to try and spread out that leave as much as you can. And I know that bank holidays are likely pro-rated. They certainly were when I was in the NHS, but please use your leave not just in one go. Please try to make sure that you are using it to enrich your life, your soul, your spirit, everything about you so that you're not just totally burned out all the time.

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And we need to think about the power of evenings, and weekends, and holiday as well. This where I'm being a bad girl because I'm working on my holiday, but I'm choosing to work on my holiday because it matters to me that you guys have a new podcast episode to look forward to each week as well, because I know that many of you have this as part of your weekly routine. And thank you from the bottom of my heart if that does describe you.

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So using your evenings and weekends. So when I first got together with my husband, he was like, why don't you have more hobbies? Why do you not do more things? I was like, I like a bit of Pilates. I like chatting with my friends. I like going out for dinner. I like naps. Naps are a key hobby. And if you are lucky enough to still have naps in your life, perhaps you don't any have children or you have some magical method of ignoring them so that you can nap, please let me know. Tag me when you've had a really good nap, won't you? Come and talk to me about your naps on the Aspiring Psychologist community on Facebook. I love a good nap. My in-laws are currently asleep right now on the sofa downstairs because they've come along away with us. That was noisy. That's not them snoring. That's a lot of snoring. That is the work people next door. So try to make sure that you've got things to look forward to in your evenings and weekends, but don't over cram them. Just because there's a gap in your social calendar doesn't mean you need to fill it. So I'm trying to adopt the kind of concept of not booking more than two things over a week to do because I'd just be burned out. And it's tricky to do anyway because the children seem to relentlessly have football.

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I was going to say football rehearsal, football practise and training and actual matches and stuff. So gone are the days where my weekends are my own anyway. But I was really just... I enjoy my work and I did as an aspiring psychologist. So if you're not really enjoying your work as an aspiring psychologist, it might be an idea to reflect on how different you envisage qualified life to be when you get there because in my experience they're not vastly different.

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I do more media now. I do obviously write books and things. And I do podcasts, but my day to day work isn't that different really. And so think about where you might be able to crank up the joy, perhaps using supervision to think about creating more opportunities within your work to do the things that you really do enjoy. It might be useful. So what we'll do is we're going to take a short break here and I'll be back along very soon.

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(singing)

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My name is Diekolola Amujo. I am a recent psychology graduate from Ireland. I am also an aspiring clinical psychologist. Dr. Marianne's book, The Clinical Psychologist Collective, has been so helpful to me on this journey to becoming a clinical psychologist. As I plan to continue post-graduate studies in the UK, I found it extremely useful that this book provided in-depth information on the UK DClinPsy application process.

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I enjoyed reading about the experiences of both qualified and training clinical psychologists. The various narratives were my favourite part of the book as everyone's story was different and it provided amazing insights into the clinical psychology journey. I would definitely recommend this book to anyone interested in psychology and aspires to become a clinical psychologist.

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(singing)

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Thank you for coming back to me and hope you've found this first half useful so far. So in the first half we were thinking about the blank diary and the power of evenings and weekends. I was also chatting to somebody today actually, who's gone straight from being an aspiring psychologist and working really long hours with zero downtime and zero annual leave to go straight to doctoral training.

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And finding that after teaching block and kind of hustling and jostling to form cohort relationships and expectations from the university as well as new placement expectations and pressures both self-imposed and supervisor imposed, finding their feeling a bit burned out already, which is really, really tricky. And so I really do advocate using your diary to think, well if I were to get on to doctoral training this year, what could my summer look like? What could I afford to and how long could I afford to potentially not work for? Or could I use some of my annual leave to take before I finish to make sure I have a really enjoyable break?

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So when I started training, as you might know already, because I talk about it quite a lot, I'd had just a nice wonderful summer. I'd been away backpacking with a friend in Spain and Morocco. And then I came back and finished off my work in the service I was working in and then went away to India for five weeks too. And also, I seem to recall I went to Barcelona with a very big group of assistant psychologists. I think we already knew we were going to be on training at that point and it was just such fun. Until I got mugged, but even then on the other side of that, it was such fun. We had a great time. And so it was just a really wonderful summer.

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And so I really came to clinical training just energised, enthusiastic, tanned, happy, living my best life, and really excited for this next stage. So where could you imagine or hope or dream that you might spend this summer if this is your summer before you go onto doctoral training? So dare to dream. And just before the first time I recorded this podcast episode, there's a book here just behind me called The Best Moment of Your Life. And it's about, it's a hundred stories, it's a bit of a collective, actually. A hundred stories written by people who have had really amazing moments. And one of them, the first story is actually something that I've already done, which I thought was incredible. So I haven't had a chance to look through it really, but is about someone who went to Varanasi in India and lit these little candles and then put them out across the Ganges.

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And you do that with kind of mindful hope, a connection to people that you've loved and lost, and for your hopes and dreams in future, and so I've done that and it was a really nice spiritual thing to do. So that was really nice. That made me reflect upon some of the other really lovely things I've done as well like, going to Australia and driving around the world's largest sand island which was Fraser Island. And encouraging the dingoes not to steal our barbecue, and pitching a tent and sleeping out there and sleeping under the stars in the far desert and riding a camel that I talk about in the Aspiring Psychologist Collective book. And what other things? Hanging out in Thailand and swimming with dusky dolphins in New Zealand. And all of these were things that I've done whilst being an aspiring psychologist. So in chunks of time that I've taken to go out there and see the world, but also nourish my soul.

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And actually, I don't know if I'd be here without doing that because on the days that are tricky, I've very much drawn on many of those experiences. So how could you do the things that nourish your soul? That might be dancing, it might be singing, it might be travelling, it might be eating great food or cooking great food or spending time with people you really enjoy spending time with. So how can you look to do that? Because we work and no play makes life not feel very enriching.

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So that was a loud noise. How can you do that as well? And we need to make sure we're looking forward to things. So having things to look forward to. So for example, comedy gigs maybe. I was supposed to be going to Jon Richardson tomorrow, but we had to cancel because it had originally been scheduled for the pandemic and then it been rolled forward and moved to a date I couldn't do. So we had to refund it, which was a shame. But I might well look to think what other comedy gigs I can get booked in. Trips to see friends, meals in restaurants I'd like to go to, family I might like to catch up with.

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I've got a shopping trip with a couple of different friends, university friends and psychology undergraduate friends. So what can you do that might enrich your life and help decompress, take off some of the pressure from this pressure cooker of life that we get when we are working as a mental health profession or any kind of role where you are supporting and caring about others.

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And along those lines I would say it's really important to use supervision as well. And we could use supervision to look forward as well and to think about when you where might like to go. And we can also use any yearly appraisal to think about what experiences you might like to have to shape you and direct you, and point you in the direction that you want to go. Don't be afraid to say that you are not thinking this is going to be your forever job.

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It's absolutely okay to want to go to different places. So perhaps you want to be a senior PWP or a senior assistant psychologist, or perhaps you want to get your first kind of assistant psychologist role for example, or research assistant role. And I would say I hope you're in an environment where you are able to be honest about that and they can help support you to get to this next step of the row of the ladder, which is going to be so useful for you.

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So this is a slightly brief episode and it was originally, then we came in about 29 minutes before, but there was more distraction available with more windsurfing discussion opportunities. We've had more of a focus. The last episode was a little bit woolly and a little bit too relaxed, whereas now I was slightly annoyed when I started this cause I can't believe I filmed an entire podcast and there was no sound and I checked it and everything.

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But yes, I came and did a redo. And if there's no sound this time, then frankly you're just going to have to listen to no sound and to try and work out what I was saying. But I've done away with the AirPods and you might have slightly worse sound and also quite a lot of noise to put up with and you might be able to hear the buffeting wind as I sit here in this office room looking out at the wonderful estuary views.

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So if you found this useful, then please come and discuss it with me on socials, tell me about your naps as well. I'm very excited to know about your naps even when they're not my own. And talk to me about your hobbies and your past terms. Come and discuss it with me on the Aspiring Psychologist Community (Free Group) that's on Facebook. And if you would welcome some more support, then come along to the Aspiring Psychologist membership details in the show notes.

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And also the day this episode is released is Halloween, the 31st of October. And so we've got a live Q and A, compassionate Q and A, across my socials as well. Do bear in mind if you're joining on Twitter, I can't see your comments live, so perhaps come along Dr. Marianne Trent most other places, but also on Facebook for good thinking psychological services too. So come and see me, ask me questions, let me answer them for you.

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And bearing in mind there's a competition running until midnight on the 31st of October as well. More details for how you can win a one-to-one with me are available to you at www.goodthinkingpsychology.co.uk/my-books. And you can see all the details there that you need to know. But yes, thank you for joining me. I'm going to go and hope there's some sound on this episode. Maybe see if I can get a little bit of a glass of wine on the go. A little bit of a random Wednesday afternoon off work.

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And I look forward to the fish and chips that we're having for tea tonight, which I seem to be aware I've got rather good reviews from the local GP. So yes, I hope you found this useful. Hope you find it inspiring. Give yourself permission to allow yourself to do the things that make you smile and enrich your soul because it's going to be so important along the journey. Hope you find it useful. Thank you for being part of my world and I'll look forward to catching up with you for our next episode, which is available to you on 6:00 AM on Monday. Take care.

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(Singing).